If we really want to give it our best effort, its often most effect to surround ourselves with a community of people who are trying to do the same to help sustain intention. So whether youre drawn to authentic happiness, flourishing, real happiness, stumbling on happiness or the happiness project, it works best when we treat all of these prescriptions as an experiment, dropping our expectations for results and just seeing what we find.
The truth is you are your best teacher when it comes to this life. The things that do lead to happiness include time management, gratitude, being nice, close relationships, exercise, getting enough sleep, meditation and mindfulness. But this is the direction of my compass, perhaps not yours and that is perfectly okay. The research shows that the things people think will make them happy like money, stuff, attractiveness, even getting married don't necessarily lead to happiness. Im not perfect at it, but I also practice making peace with my imperfections.
#If you want to be happy for the rest of your life how to
I have my views of how to nurture a sense of goodness, which is a practice of self-love, being kind to myself in the difficult moments, cultivating caring relationships with others, engaging causes I believe will help others and having the belief that all of this actually lends itself to a better world. This is closer to what Sharon Salzberg calls Real Happiness. Even the happiness trap can be an opportunity to cultivate the ability to be present and loving in the midst of our personal storms. This inevitably waters the seeds of self-love, which is the foundation for feeling well. Dont let your friends say you have no taste, Go ahead and marry anyway. An ugly woman cooks meals all the time, Shell always give you peace of mind. Im not suggesting staying away from titles or programs with the intention of helping you thrive, flourish or be happy, just to notice that if this trap occurs, to bring yourself back to the present moment and nurture the ability to be with the uncomfortable emotion with a kind attention. But if you make an ugly woman your wife, Youll be happy for the rest of your life. Its important to be mindful of this trap as its easy to slip into. The more we try to be somewhere else than where we are, the message that gets reinforced is something is wrong with me. This focuses on a gap between where we are and where we want to be reinforcing a cycle of deficiency. In my view, were in danger of falling into this trap when were constantly striving to be somewhere else than where we are. For Seligmans book, this could also be called a Flourishing Trap. This can lead to what might be called a “ Happiness Trap. Well get sick, anxious, depressed, or experience trauma. We can point the compass in the general direction of what we believe will provide us a sense of inner peace, but there will be deviations along the way. If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life. Oh boy, this can all get kind of confusing.Īt the end of the day, there are a lot of writings and prescriptions out there to be happy, flourish, thrive, and generally feel well. But what does it mean when Thich Nhat Hanh, a longtime Buddhist Monk, peace activist, author and poet says, There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way”?
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